Father's Day 2009

Today is Father's Day. Simply a day delegated to all fathers. I am not sure if it is important to have a day delegated to me just because I am a father. With or without it, I am already one, forever. Just I have shared before, being a father is a honor and responsibility.

I cannot recall celebrating Father's Day when I was young. We din do it specially for it. I think there are a few reasons: Likely that my parent din like to waste much money. We stayed in a rental flat and every cents count. My father is a very serious and quiet person. I dun think we dare to try suggesting it. To everyone of us in the family, it is just another normal day, no big deal about it.

My father passed away 22 years ago. I was in army training when his condition worsen. I can still remember that my relative came to the army camp to fetch me to hospital, so that my father could see me again - one last time . That night, he left me and the family forever.

At that moment, I was not particularly sad. Maybe I was just too tired, due to the stringent army training, to feel sad over it. I think another reason was that we were not that close. I started to stay with my father and the family when I was 5 or 6 years old. The concept of father and family were too absurd for me to understand enough what it supposed to mean. Nevertheless, we spent 12 to 13 years living together.

I am very sure my father was a responsible person. He worked hard to sustain the family and sent us for education, all the way to JC. I knew he loved us. He was very worried, instead of being angry, for me when I returned very late from school without making a call home. He was standing near the bus stop, waiting anxiously and hoping to see me alighting from the bus.

I would like to thank my father for teaching me Chinese when I started schooling. He would teach me how to read and to write. Writing means pages of chinese words again and again. He could test me regularly to make sure I really understood it. That few years of "training" had strengthen my Chinese foundation very much and I am enjoying the fruit of it till now.

Our usual entertainment then was watching tv programme, in particularly, news. We hardly had family outing. My father would drive us to Malaysia on a few occasions during the 12 to 13 years. However, there was one occasion that my father drove me and my brother to East Coast Park (i think so) to play football. It was a sunny afternoon. Three of us and we played happily for hours. I always rememberd that afternoon. How i wish that moment could last a bit longer. A wish that I thought I could have deserved it.

For so many year that we lived together, I dun think I had done anything to let him know that I did appreciate his efforts and love. 2 to 3 months before he passed away, my mum encouraged me to pass him some of my monthly pay from the army training as appreciation. I was puzzled but i did. My father was lying on the bed at home then and quietly accepted it without much words. He was too sick to say anything.

Though we were not that close, I do wish that my father could be still around so that he could see us graduated, getting married, travel to different parts of the world as a family and knowing that we are also a father now.

As a father myself now, I will try my best to be a responsible person just like my father. I am sure my father was as honor as I am when my daughter first called me papa when she turned 1 year old.

Happy Father's Day.